I am such a permeable person that I commit osmosis against my will. I felt the recent world-impacting events in my physical and energy bodies before I ever found out what had happened. I absorb other people's states of being too, their emotions, their physical symptoms, brain waves, thoughts, impulses, desires....ok, maybe not everybody's and I promise I don't pay attention to them except to try to get them out of my own system.
The state of my energy body is my biggest problem, I am about of the conclusion. Energy bodies are like physical bodies: A person doesn't eat "once and for all" for example, nor wear a crystal for a time and fix an offending problem for good. Taking care of myself has become a consuming, irritating, boring chore that hasn't fixed a thing about me. I don't think I'm alone in how I feel about chronic illness and I don't see any brightness in tomorrow.
My energy body simply doesn't function properly and in that I'm including my entire system of nerves, spinal problems and nerve damage. Things that disrupt my energy system cause certain things to happen to me to which I'm genetically predisposed, like Migraine. Disruptions also trigger functional things that are intensely nerve-driven, like Meniere's Syndrome and Irritable Bowel Syndrome.
The disruptions that cause problems for me seem to be energy-related themselves, like EMF waves, weather and other nature changes, astronomical events like normal Moon and Sun things, solar flares and such, and strange as it may sound, negative people and their own disrupted, scrambled energy systems. I don't generate energy properly. I absorb disrupted human and non-human energy sometimes without being aware of it--I've even pulled energy out of electrical outlets in an arc and no, not mistaking this for a discharge of static electricity (which isn't very useful to me, no idea why).
I feel the urge for a blog editorial coming on...about the difference between "managing" a chronic illness and "healing" the condition.
Medicine can only cure a few things. Most things that happen to people are defined as "self-limiting": Eventually, they go away by themselves (by way of death of the person at times). Medicine can improve the self-healing process by setting bones or performing surgery or prescribing drugs to accomplish various things and thanks be to God for modern medicine! But the human body is designed to heal itself when at all possible. Might not be possible to restore a body to its pre-injury or pre-illness state, but a human body is designed to fix itself up as best it can.
I'm going to state my opinion here: Chronic illness is a compromise between the illness and a body, to me. The body doesn't die right away but it doesn't heal itself either. The body exists in a state of semi-functioning, neither getting better nor expiring. Is it because the body doesn't know how to get well? No one knows. Is it because the body is doing something (maybe in normal homeostasis with no intent to stay sick) to exacerbate the chronic situation? Maybe in some instances. Is it because the chronic compromise is the furthest extent that the body can go in healing itself alone or with medical treatment? That very well may be.
My current energy body functioning seem to me, at this time in my learning curve, to be the best compromise that my body can devise to cope with onslaughts of skewed energy in order to keep me going.
I don't believe Meniere's or Migraine either one are self-limiting. I know that at this time no cure for Migraine exists. We have symptom relief, prevention, and management techniques. Meniere's may be the same but there is too little research for Meniere's out there for me to feel as certain as I do about Migraine.
Right now, we can alleviate symptoms, work on prevention (which I intend to also include both lifestyle/trigger management and prophylactic measures), and work for awareness and more and better research, data mining, things of that nature. Not much more can be done. Until and unless I can figure out a way to develop energy boundaries, I don't foresee that I will make progress in increasing my daily functioning. Symptom relief, prevention, personal self expression through awareness--none of those things are improving my functioning.
I have worked LIKE A DOG for years, and yeah call them decades, to try to find a way to live so that I'm not at the mercy of other people--their energies, their egos, their disrupted, scrambled selves--made great progress in staying right where I was and even reducing prescription medicine usage (and I credit crystal therapy and energy medicine), but my functioning is absolutely no better. None. Zero. Zilch.
I am so very pessimistic right now, and it feels unnatural and discouraging. But the more time I spend in the awareness and advocacy world, the more certain I feel that such industry-wide slogans as "working toward a cure" and "raising awareness" promote an illusion of virtually impossible outcomes. I'm just about to decide that concentrating on management techniques and self-help methods would be both more cost-effective and measurably more successful in reducing disability and restoring functioning than funding attempts to achieve things that medicine can barely do for any condition or any disease, dis-ease, injury, or malfunction regardless of the time, effort, awareness, research, and prayer.
Medicine has developed so few cures, no one ever talks about them. If someone will share with me a reason to work for a cure instead of working for better management, I'll most assuredly listen.
I want to be wrong on this. But I just don't think I am.
And this is the end of this Editorial.
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